Cat vs Spider

While my kitty cried desperately for me to save her while weaving figure eights around my feet, I darted out of the bathroom that I was trapped inside of (somehow managing not to trip on Luna or face-plant onto the concrete flooring).  I screamed all the way to my kitchen, as FAR far away from my closet and the monster as I could get!

Violently, and desperately I grabbed the nearest knife. es, I’m gonna stab this monster to death!  No… wait…. That means I’d have to get up close and personal!  Does this sucker jump?!?  Well, fudge!  Alright, time for plan two!  Frantically, I looked around my kitchen as my eyes came across a bible I would never read (it was in Spanish, which I don’t speak).  It was a gift forced on me by a passing Jehovah’s witness the day before….

The bible was heavy, so… I plotted my course of attack!  Then, with careful timing, skillful preparation and encouragement from my four legged companion, I tossed the heavy brick (bible) in the air from a SAFE distance away and it landed right on top of the monster.  A thud sounded, echoed by my cheering!  (Hooray!)

With my heart pounding heavily, I tip-toed over and carefully lifted the corner of the book with my hands shaking, almost painfully.  Lo and behold, the monster was dead!

To my kitchen I ran, grabbed a plastic bag, quickly scooped up the bible with the dead monster attached to it’s cover, and darted like a bat out of hell to the trash cans at the front of the house.  I tossed the bag into the bin as quickly as I could, before a shudder of elatement and frustration crept through my spine!  The battle was won!  I would live to see another day of my sanity!

As for the bible… it served a much greater purpose than what I originally had in store for it.  Long live the Word of God!

Word of God: 1
Spider: Zilch

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